I tag Angela, Amy, Debra, and Carrie
What is his name? Jared
Nicknames? Dad
How long have you been married? 7 years
How long did you date? 6 months
How old is he? 30
Who eats more sweets? Usually me, but Jared has been catching up lately
Who said "I love you" first? He did
Who is taller? He is, by 3 inches
Who can sing better? He does, adult me can't sing
Who is smarter? Jared, everything comes so naturally for him, I have to study like crazy
Who does the laundry? Nobody lately, but I do usually
Who pays the bills? I do
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Facing the bed, Jared does
Who mows the lawn? Nobody has for a few months, but so far this summer it's Brittney - at least 5, Jared - 0
Who cooks dinner? If it's cooked it was me, if it's been thrown together it was Jared, which has been more often lately
Who drives? Jared
Who is more stubborn? I am, except when it comes to saying sorry when it's both of our fault, then Jared is
Who kissed who first? I did, but Jared asked
Who asked who out first? Jared asked me to come to a movie night with his friends, and then only Ben ended up coming. But he invited me over and made dinner for me a couple days later.
Who proposed? He did, but I said the "M" word first, three days after the dinner date.
Who has more siblings? I do, I have 6, Jared has 5
Who wears the pants? I think we figured out that two different pairs of pants works best
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Battles Worth Fighting
So I read this post on someone's blog and it made me think. Do I really distinguish between battles that are worth fighting and ones that aren't? There are some for me that are given, but do I fight others that I probably shouldn't be wasting time on?
So here is my off the cuff list of:
Battles (not) worth fighting
1. Manners - Worth the fight. This is one of those battles that there are days (like today with Grace) that we are completely loosing. The point is not to give up right, that we, as adults are ultimately more stubborn then our children, so eventually they will fall into line. That is the hope at least, however, four year old girls have been our biggest problem area (so far).
2. School Attendance - Not worth the fight. I know there are a lot of people that disagree with me on this one, but I figure your child can have 15 absences before you get in any real trouble (Jared missed three months before any one called his parents) so if my kids are having a rough day and don't want to go to school, who cares? However, this only applies to abscences I know about (call it "controlled abscences"). Skipping school to hang out with friends - Worth the fight.
3. Homework- Not worth the fight. Scout goes to school 6 hours a day, why should she then spend two hours doing homework outside of school? i think if she has been in school that long and wants to come home and play outside or read a chapter book or even play her sea exploration video game then she can. I am not going to make her spend an hour looking for her ten spelling words in a magazine. That's just stupid. We do however spend a half hour reviewing Spanish and spelling words (in non magazine fashion) along with her Fast Forward Reading program. (Have you guys heard of this? It reminds me of my mom, I am sure she would agree with this program, and for Grace I think it would be great but for Scout it's just busy work and it drives me crazy to have to do it for 10 minutes every night. Although, Scout does enjoy the actual rhymes.)
4. Clothes, Matching - Not worth the fight. Clothes, Modesty - Worth the fight.
5. Eating (what) - Worth the fight. Eating (when) - Not worth the fight. My kids have to eat what we give them, and try some of everything. If they aren't hungry they don't have to eat, as long as they know that when they do get hungry they still have to eat the same thing.
6. Church - Worth the fight. Once they can stay home alone they won't have to go to church, but I figure if they are going to break the sabath by not going to church then it won't matter if they break it more by cleaning the whole time they are home.
7. Language - Worth the fight. Right now our naughty words are "stupid" and "rude" but it will evolve to age appropriate stuff. The Lord's name is always against the rules, but in general we ignore most naughty words unless they start getting used often.
8. Piercings- Not worth the fight, after age 8. I had to wait until I was 8 to get my ears peirced so my girls will have to wait too. That way they will remember how much it hurts. Then if they want to get more, and a small guilt trip about the prophet saying you shouldn't have more then one doesn't work, then fine. The nice thing about piercings is that you can always take them out and no one notices they were there.
9. Hair - Not worth the fight. It's hair, you can always cut it shorter or dye it a different color. I shaved my head when I was 22 and I have thought about doing it again. And if Scout wants pink hair then I'll even dye it for her, as long as it's in the summer because the school doesn't allow excentric hair colors. Personally, I've always wanted bright blue, at least on the ends, but think I have probably gotten too old, if not in age then in personality, to do it.
10. Seat belts, Shots, and Swimming Lessons - Worth the fight. I stole this one because I completely agree. My kids have never had a problem with not wearing their seat belts, but I look at other people with their kids climbing over the seats when they are driving and it reminds me why this is worth the fight. Safety first, but, come one, those kids are annoying me, how could they possibly not be annoying thier parents?
So here is my off the cuff list of:
Battles (not) worth fighting
1. Manners - Worth the fight. This is one of those battles that there are days (like today with Grace) that we are completely loosing. The point is not to give up right, that we, as adults are ultimately more stubborn then our children, so eventually they will fall into line. That is the hope at least, however, four year old girls have been our biggest problem area (so far).
2. School Attendance - Not worth the fight. I know there are a lot of people that disagree with me on this one, but I figure your child can have 15 absences before you get in any real trouble (Jared missed three months before any one called his parents) so if my kids are having a rough day and don't want to go to school, who cares? However, this only applies to abscences I know about (call it "controlled abscences"). Skipping school to hang out with friends - Worth the fight.
3. Homework- Not worth the fight. Scout goes to school 6 hours a day, why should she then spend two hours doing homework outside of school? i think if she has been in school that long and wants to come home and play outside or read a chapter book or even play her sea exploration video game then she can. I am not going to make her spend an hour looking for her ten spelling words in a magazine. That's just stupid. We do however spend a half hour reviewing Spanish and spelling words (in non magazine fashion) along with her Fast Forward Reading program. (Have you guys heard of this? It reminds me of my mom, I am sure she would agree with this program, and for Grace I think it would be great but for Scout it's just busy work and it drives me crazy to have to do it for 10 minutes every night. Although, Scout does enjoy the actual rhymes.)
4. Clothes, Matching - Not worth the fight. Clothes, Modesty - Worth the fight.
5. Eating (what) - Worth the fight. Eating (when) - Not worth the fight. My kids have to eat what we give them, and try some of everything. If they aren't hungry they don't have to eat, as long as they know that when they do get hungry they still have to eat the same thing.
6. Church - Worth the fight. Once they can stay home alone they won't have to go to church, but I figure if they are going to break the sabath by not going to church then it won't matter if they break it more by cleaning the whole time they are home.
7. Language - Worth the fight. Right now our naughty words are "stupid" and "rude" but it will evolve to age appropriate stuff. The Lord's name is always against the rules, but in general we ignore most naughty words unless they start getting used often.
8. Piercings- Not worth the fight, after age 8. I had to wait until I was 8 to get my ears peirced so my girls will have to wait too. That way they will remember how much it hurts. Then if they want to get more, and a small guilt trip about the prophet saying you shouldn't have more then one doesn't work, then fine. The nice thing about piercings is that you can always take them out and no one notices they were there.
9. Hair - Not worth the fight. It's hair, you can always cut it shorter or dye it a different color. I shaved my head when I was 22 and I have thought about doing it again. And if Scout wants pink hair then I'll even dye it for her, as long as it's in the summer because the school doesn't allow excentric hair colors. Personally, I've always wanted bright blue, at least on the ends, but think I have probably gotten too old, if not in age then in personality, to do it.
10. Seat belts, Shots, and Swimming Lessons - Worth the fight. I stole this one because I completely agree. My kids have never had a problem with not wearing their seat belts, but I look at other people with their kids climbing over the seats when they are driving and it reminds me why this is worth the fight. Safety first, but, come one, those kids are annoying me, how could they possibly not be annoying thier parents?
What's Your Sign?
I find it interesting how closely our family matches their signs. Is it just us or does your family fall into their signs too?
Abi is a Taurus: The Bull
While she is still pretty young to get a good sense of how much of her actions are her personality verses just being a two year old, there are several things that clearly label her as a Taurus.
They experience the world through their senses. They like the way things taste, feel, sound, and smell.
We can't walk by a candle without Abi smelling it, and if it's a candle shelf we have to stop for her to smell every one of them or she gets very frustrated. She use to eat sand, and not just as a baby, she just barely stopped doing it. She ate sand and dirt far longer then either of our other girls.
They love to eat, from the moment they are born.
I am sure several of you remember Abi sitting in the high chair for over an hour because people were willing to keep feeding her. You would think that she would be really over weight, but she's normal for our two year olds.
Practical and good with money.
Abi can't leave money on the floor when she sees it. The other girls will play with it and then loose interest. Abi finds money and insists that you put it in your pocket so it won't get lost.
They aren't hurried, in fact they are down right slow. Don't expect them to pick up the pace; it's just not going to happen.
I think this drives Jared crazy. We walked to the ice cream store yesterday and Jared was so frustrated that Abi was so slow. She was just taking her time, looking at everything, collecting "wish flowers", balancing on and then sliding down the curb. Once we got to the store she just kept asking for samples, she really wanted to just have a taste of all of them.
Grace is a Pisces: The Dreamer
A deeply creative imagination.
Tender, compassionate and need extra affection.
Grace is our cuddeler. She is also in love with babies. When she was two she use to look at everyone's babies and say "Your baby is so tute" and then to go along with her imagination she would add "He thinks I'm a giant but I'm really not. I'm just Grace."
More interested in their dreams or fantasies then in real life. Pisces have grand visions of the way life could and should be, which will then fall flat in the harsh light of reality.
This drives me crazy. I can plan this big birthday party, do a ton of stuff for it and when you ask Grace if she liked her birthday she says "Just a little. It was only a little fun." She just gets it in her head what it should be (last time she was thinking at a princess party all of the princesses at Disneyland were going to come and bring her presents), and when it doesn't end up happening the way she thought, she is disappointed.
Emotionally sensitive.
Grace has been coming in crying lately because she hears people talking about her. Last week she came in saying that the neighbor and his parents said she is rude and said not to play with her. What probably happened was Kyler and Grace both wanted to do something different and since she wouldn't do what he wanted he told his parents she was being rude. So his mom said what I would have said, "If she's being rude then go play with someone else and don't play with her." But she heard, "Grace is rude, don't play with her."
Scout is a Gemini: An Agile Mind
Communicative, charming, and social. If she starts talking at an early age, she's just living up to her nature.
Scout has always been a great talker; she talked early and she has always been particular about pronouncing things correctly.
Always surrounded with books and puzzles.
We go into her room at 7 am to wake her up for school and she is laying in bed reading. She has been reading chapter books lately. She reads them faster then we can get them. So far her favorite are the Pony Crazed Princess books, anyone have any other suggestions?
Mood changes in the blink of an eye.
All my girls are like this a little but Scout does it seemingly without reason and constantly.
Gemini excel at cerebral endeavors like reading, writing, and debate, as well as anything requiring dexterity, such as playing the piano (and video games?)
Grace does beat her at debate at the moment because when Grace sees she is loosing on a logical stance, she reverts to "well Jesus knows everything and he knows this is how it is" or "the Holy Ghost told me." Scout hasn't figured out a comeback for that yet,but I am sure it's just a matter of time.
Due to their variety of interests, Gemini tend to have many friends and will often be the center of the circle.
Every time I pick up Scout she is talking to someone new. I ask her who they are and she always says "oh I don't remember their name and they aren't in my class." She just meets people, which just astounds me because I have seen her be so shy around people but apparently it doesn't stop her from making friends. Often the friend she hangs out with at school are several years older then her.
I'm an Aquarius: A Different Drummer
I thought my horiscope described me pretty well:
-You've always loved group gatherings, but sometimes all the warm, fuzzy, touchy-feely stuff can make you uncomfortable.
Just a few points that seem to fit me:
-Strongly imaginative and psychically intuitive.
-Friendly and social but doesn't make friends easily.
-Dislike interference by others, however helpfully intended, and will accept it only on their own terms.
-Need to retire from the world at times and to become temporary loners.
Jared is also a Pisces: The Dreamer
It's probably that he is so similar to Grace that he simpathizes so much with her. He lets her come to bed with us because he remembers having bad dream and needing to cuddle. I think Jared more matched his sign when we were dating. Part of me thinks I have ruined him because he's not as understanding of others as he use to be, although he still is probably much more compassionate then me.
They are never egotistical in their personal relationships and give more than they ask from their friends.
Abi is a Taurus: The Bull
While she is still pretty young to get a good sense of how much of her actions are her personality verses just being a two year old, there are several things that clearly label her as a Taurus.
They experience the world through their senses. They like the way things taste, feel, sound, and smell.
We can't walk by a candle without Abi smelling it, and if it's a candle shelf we have to stop for her to smell every one of them or she gets very frustrated. She use to eat sand, and not just as a baby, she just barely stopped doing it. She ate sand and dirt far longer then either of our other girls.
They love to eat, from the moment they are born.
I am sure several of you remember Abi sitting in the high chair for over an hour because people were willing to keep feeding her. You would think that she would be really over weight, but she's normal for our two year olds.
Practical and good with money.
Abi can't leave money on the floor when she sees it. The other girls will play with it and then loose interest. Abi finds money and insists that you put it in your pocket so it won't get lost.
They aren't hurried, in fact they are down right slow. Don't expect them to pick up the pace; it's just not going to happen.
I think this drives Jared crazy. We walked to the ice cream store yesterday and Jared was so frustrated that Abi was so slow. She was just taking her time, looking at everything, collecting "wish flowers", balancing on and then sliding down the curb. Once we got to the store she just kept asking for samples, she really wanted to just have a taste of all of them.
Grace is a Pisces: The Dreamer
A deeply creative imagination.
Tender, compassionate and need extra affection.
Grace is our cuddeler. She is also in love with babies. When she was two she use to look at everyone's babies and say "Your baby is so tute" and then to go along with her imagination she would add "He thinks I'm a giant but I'm really not. I'm just Grace."
More interested in their dreams or fantasies then in real life. Pisces have grand visions of the way life could and should be, which will then fall flat in the harsh light of reality.
This drives me crazy. I can plan this big birthday party, do a ton of stuff for it and when you ask Grace if she liked her birthday she says "Just a little. It was only a little fun." She just gets it in her head what it should be (last time she was thinking at a princess party all of the princesses at Disneyland were going to come and bring her presents), and when it doesn't end up happening the way she thought, she is disappointed.
Emotionally sensitive.
Grace has been coming in crying lately because she hears people talking about her. Last week she came in saying that the neighbor and his parents said she is rude and said not to play with her. What probably happened was Kyler and Grace both wanted to do something different and since she wouldn't do what he wanted he told his parents she was being rude. So his mom said what I would have said, "If she's being rude then go play with someone else and don't play with her." But she heard, "Grace is rude, don't play with her."
Scout is a Gemini: An Agile Mind
Communicative, charming, and social. If she starts talking at an early age, she's just living up to her nature.
Scout has always been a great talker; she talked early and she has always been particular about pronouncing things correctly.
Always surrounded with books and puzzles.
We go into her room at 7 am to wake her up for school and she is laying in bed reading. She has been reading chapter books lately. She reads them faster then we can get them. So far her favorite are the Pony Crazed Princess books, anyone have any other suggestions?
Mood changes in the blink of an eye.
All my girls are like this a little but Scout does it seemingly without reason and constantly.
Gemini excel at cerebral endeavors like reading, writing, and debate, as well as anything requiring dexterity, such as playing the piano (and video games?)
Grace does beat her at debate at the moment because when Grace sees she is loosing on a logical stance, she reverts to "well Jesus knows everything and he knows this is how it is" or "the Holy Ghost told me." Scout hasn't figured out a comeback for that yet,but I am sure it's just a matter of time.
Due to their variety of interests, Gemini tend to have many friends and will often be the center of the circle.
Every time I pick up Scout she is talking to someone new. I ask her who they are and she always says "oh I don't remember their name and they aren't in my class." She just meets people, which just astounds me because I have seen her be so shy around people but apparently it doesn't stop her from making friends. Often the friend she hangs out with at school are several years older then her.
I'm an Aquarius: A Different Drummer
I thought my horiscope described me pretty well:
-You've always loved group gatherings, but sometimes all the warm, fuzzy, touchy-feely stuff can make you uncomfortable.
Just a few points that seem to fit me:
-Strongly imaginative and psychically intuitive.
-Friendly and social but doesn't make friends easily.
-Dislike interference by others, however helpfully intended, and will accept it only on their own terms.
-Need to retire from the world at times and to become temporary loners.
Jared is also a Pisces: The Dreamer
It's probably that he is so similar to Grace that he simpathizes so much with her. He lets her come to bed with us because he remembers having bad dream and needing to cuddle. I think Jared more matched his sign when we were dating. Part of me thinks I have ruined him because he's not as understanding of others as he use to be, although he still is probably much more compassionate then me.
They are never egotistical in their personal relationships and give more than they ask from their friends.
Monday, September 15, 2008
If you can't think of the right word, make one up.
A couple of days ago in the car Grace was making up a song. In the middle of her song she used the word "farnaleece" (or something like that). She stopped singing and explained "That means 'Sorry, I didn't mean to be mean to your baby butterflies.'"
I can't think of a lot of scenarios where you would use this word, but Grace found one in her song.
I can't think of a lot of scenarios where you would use this word, but Grace found one in her song.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
The Ten Best Things About Having Kids
#10 That smell definately didn't come from you, even if it did.
#9 You no longer have to look like a freak for talking to yourself at the grocery store. People just think you are talking to your kids.
#8 There is always someone else you can blame for your missing keys.
#7 Tax deductions.
#6 An opportunity to write Santa a Christmas List, just in case.
#5 It's nice to know at least SOMEONE thinks you're funny.
#4 You are pegged with mad cooking skills because you can make "Mommy's" or "Daddy's Surprise."
#3 An opportunity to experience life all over again, with slightly more control.
#2 They are good for a laugh pretty much any time you need it.
#1 Kisses and hugs given with unabashed love just for YOU.
#9 You no longer have to look like a freak for talking to yourself at the grocery store. People just think you are talking to your kids.
#8 There is always someone else you can blame for your missing keys.
#7 Tax deductions.
#6 An opportunity to write Santa a Christmas List, just in case.
#5 It's nice to know at least SOMEONE thinks you're funny.
#4 You are pegged with mad cooking skills because you can make "Mommy's" or "Daddy's Surprise."
#3 An opportunity to experience life all over again, with slightly more control.
#2 They are good for a laugh pretty much any time you need it.
#1 Kisses and hugs given with unabashed love just for YOU.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Who Left the Newspaper in Their Pants Pocket?
I went to switch the laundry today and there is paper covering EVERYTHING. Now I have left my share of papers in my pockets and then washed them but this was ridiculous. I may as well have paper machete-ed the entire load of laundry. I emptied the load into the dryer and what do you think I found at the bottom of the washing machine? A hardback library book cover. Just the cover. It was the book Jared had checked out "The Amazing Adventure of Kavalier and Clay." I think it's around 500-600 pages long. It completely disintegrated in my washing machine. Now I don't know how it got in my washing machine, but I am really not looking forward to paying the library for it. I'm really hoping it ends up being a once in a lifetime experience.
Why did you marry?
Last friday I brought Brittney some flowers and the kids were asking why. We explained that we were celebrating the day we got married.
Since then about 6 times a day Abi has been asking me "Why did you marry?"
I thought I'd answer that question here. It's a couple days late Brittney, sorry.
I married Brittney because she's the coolest girl I know. In support of this I offer the following facts:
She loves to read, but she likes good books, not schmaltzy romance.
She loves action and comic book movies.
She likes my friends and fits in with them.
She has a great sense of humor, she only gets offended when things are truly offensive.
She is good at literally everything she really tries. I'm not exaggerating. If she puts effort into something she usually does it better than anybody else I've ever known.
She's an amazing cook, and always trying new things.
She is constantly trying to improve herself.
She loves good music. Roger Clyne, The Shins, etc... Not a hint of Celine Dion or Mariah Carey on any of her playlists.
She has an unshakable testimony of the gospel.
She sees connections I don't see. I can't count the number of times we've been discussing some gospel principle and she will tie two scriptures together that I never considered to be related. But when she points out the connection it brings insight to me that is profound. I love listening to her talk about the scriptures.
She's way smarter than I am.
She takes the responsibility of raising our children very seriously. She does creative things with the kids all the time. She takes the time to include the kids.
She is loving without being smothering.
She challenges me to be better.
She is smokin hot. :)
Brittney isn't overly sentimental (something else I love about her) and she always views herself as being much less than she really is, so I'm guessing she's going to disagree on some of the things I've said. I just want her to know that I'm not saying she's perfect. Just like every marriage there are stresses, and disagreements. Just like any person she has flaws (far fewer than I have, by orders of magnitude). But it doesn't matter. She is perfect for me. One of the first things I noticed when Brittney and I got together was that she made me feel calm. I don't know how to explain it fully. When we sat next to each other I felt quiet in my soul. She felt like home.
Our lives on this planet are full of chaos and noise. Tension and stress and guilt and yearning for more. Brittney is my antidote . At the end of the day when we are sitting around the dinner table, or sitting together and watching tv, or laying in bed talking, or walking together at the grocery store, it's the same as those first few weeks of dating. She calms me. I feel the wrinkles of the day being smoothed out. She probably doesn't know this. Sometimes I'm very quiet when I get home from work. Sometimes it's because I'm in a bad mood. But more often it's just that I'm absorbing that feeling. I need more of her, not more of me. I'm sick of me. I'm never sick of her.
I married Brittney for all of these reasons and a million others. I married her (and would again in a heartbeat) because I love her with my whole soul and want to be with her forever.
Happy 7th anniversary. By far the best 7 years of my life. Our worst times together are still better than my best times without you.
Love you forever and always.
Since then about 6 times a day Abi has been asking me "Why did you marry?"
I thought I'd answer that question here. It's a couple days late Brittney, sorry.
I married Brittney because she's the coolest girl I know. In support of this I offer the following facts:
She loves to read, but she likes good books, not schmaltzy romance.
She loves action and comic book movies.
She likes my friends and fits in with them.
She has a great sense of humor, she only gets offended when things are truly offensive.
She is good at literally everything she really tries. I'm not exaggerating. If she puts effort into something she usually does it better than anybody else I've ever known.
She's an amazing cook, and always trying new things.
She is constantly trying to improve herself.
She loves good music. Roger Clyne, The Shins, etc... Not a hint of Celine Dion or Mariah Carey on any of her playlists.
She has an unshakable testimony of the gospel.
She sees connections I don't see. I can't count the number of times we've been discussing some gospel principle and she will tie two scriptures together that I never considered to be related. But when she points out the connection it brings insight to me that is profound. I love listening to her talk about the scriptures.
She's way smarter than I am.
She takes the responsibility of raising our children very seriously. She does creative things with the kids all the time. She takes the time to include the kids.
She is loving without being smothering.
She challenges me to be better.
She is smokin hot. :)
Brittney isn't overly sentimental (something else I love about her) and she always views herself as being much less than she really is, so I'm guessing she's going to disagree on some of the things I've said. I just want her to know that I'm not saying she's perfect. Just like every marriage there are stresses, and disagreements. Just like any person she has flaws (far fewer than I have, by orders of magnitude). But it doesn't matter. She is perfect for me. One of the first things I noticed when Brittney and I got together was that she made me feel calm. I don't know how to explain it fully. When we sat next to each other I felt quiet in my soul. She felt like home.
Our lives on this planet are full of chaos and noise. Tension and stress and guilt and yearning for more. Brittney is my antidote . At the end of the day when we are sitting around the dinner table, or sitting together and watching tv, or laying in bed talking, or walking together at the grocery store, it's the same as those first few weeks of dating. She calms me. I feel the wrinkles of the day being smoothed out. She probably doesn't know this. Sometimes I'm very quiet when I get home from work. Sometimes it's because I'm in a bad mood. But more often it's just that I'm absorbing that feeling. I need more of her, not more of me. I'm sick of me. I'm never sick of her.
I married Brittney for all of these reasons and a million others. I married her (and would again in a heartbeat) because I love her with my whole soul and want to be with her forever.
Happy 7th anniversary. By far the best 7 years of my life. Our worst times together are still better than my best times without you.
Love you forever and always.
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