Here we go again

I tend to go through cycles of being so sick of getting headaches all the time, I finally decide to try something to get rid of them. Then I get sick of gaining weight from whatever meds the doctor give me that don't do a darn for my headache so I go back to doing nothing until I can't deal with life and start the cycle over.

If you have seen my house lately you would know what I mean about not being able to deal with life. I always have a headache and bending over to pick things up and the smell of cleanser always makes them worse so everything has just stopped and I can't deal with my house any more, or with myself. Always before, I didn't let my headaches absolve me of my responsibilities, but since having a baby (yes that was a year ago), I've used headaches and being tired and a baby as my excuse for dropping everything. And it really shows, in my house, my relationship with my husband and kids, my friendships, my church callings, and even my hobbies, which I have stopped doing and being interested in. I just sit, or sleep, and watch the days flying by while I am miserable, and I'm sick of it. I don't want to loose another summer, another year. I have goals, for my family and myself, and I don't want to put them off any longer.

It's become abundantly clear to me that I can't rely on doctors for relief from my depression or headaches. They just prescribe meds that I always have horrible side effects to and that don't help at all. Did you know that 40% of people don't respond to depression medications? Doctors deny it though, claiming you just have to find the right one. Well I have been on 9 different ones and all they have done is make me gain weight and get more headaches (I won't even mention sexual side effects), and be the meanest person in the world going off of them. I'm not willing to go on the other meds they are practically forcing me to try for headaches. ("If you won't go on ___ then there isn't anything I can do to help you." "If you insist on nursing, or want to have another baby, then there isn't anything we can do for you. Come back when your done with those.") So that means it's just me.

A while back Jared found the book called Heal Your Headache. I half tried it back then but still thought some medication would work and didn't want to invest the time and effort into doing what the book said. I'm willing now. Today I am going through all the food in my house and getting rid of everything the book says is a possible trigger. It's probably better this way anyhow because my two older girls have started complaining of mild to moderate headaches lately and a lifestyle change will be a change for my whole family (except maybe Jared, he'll just end up taking all the food to his work).