Autobiography

Angela suggested doing a memoirs thing and I liked her setup of doing it with the members of the family. I commented on her blog whether it took a while to come up with positive things from her childhood, because the first things that pop into my mind are not.

• My dad. I only have a few memories of my dad before my parents got divorced. The one good one I have is of being in the van with Dad singing "there was a lady in the Ford, the prettiest lady you ever did see... and the engine in the Ford made the wheels go round. Honk-ity Honk Honk, beep beep." Unfortunately, my primary memory of my father is not a great one. I remember my parents fighting and I was in the play room. My dad came storming in there and out the back door, but he slammed it and it shattered. I said "Oh my G-word," and he came barreling down at me and spanked me many times, hard. It's not the spanking so much that I remembered as feeling like he obviously just hated me, because all the other siblings always talk about how dad never spanked them, even when mom told him to. As an adult I understand what happened but, as a child, I hated my dad, and hated that I craved his attention. It wasn't until after a couple years of being married that we started to have a good relationship. I love being around him now, and I love seeing how much fun my kids have with him. I wish we had the extra time and money to visit him more often.

• My mom. I don't remember much of mom either, she was always involved with Trisha, although I didn't realize it then. I remember her yelling at me from the kitchen because I left the cup full of snails I collected from the ditch on the counter to use in art projects later on and apparently they had tipped the cup over. Mom went in to make dinner and there were a hundred snails crawling across her counter and down the cabinets. The other time was when Aaron and I had caught some 50 or more grasshoppers and kept them in a 5 gal ice cream bucket. We didn't want them to suffocate while we went to get a knife to poke holes in the top so we left it cracked and then went in and got sidetracked by the television. Mom wasn't very happy when she found the playroom full of 3 inch grasshoppers. It took weeks before we got them all out.
  
• I also remember loving the time she spent with me one on one, after kindergarten got out and before we had to pick up Trisha from physical therapy. We would go to the ceramic store and she taught me the basics of painting. That time with her is probably why I am as crafty as I am. I think I might be the only one that was blessed to have one on one time with mom when I wasn't just a baby.
  

• Vaughn. Vaughn was my savior; I don't know how else to say it. Whenever those circumstances came up that made me acutely aware that my parents were divorced and I just wanted to give up and hate everyone then Vaughn showed up and everything would be ok again. The first instance was right after my parents got divorced. Angela and I had been invited to a party at the skating rink and Mom promised she would be home in time to take us, but she wasn't. We were a half hour late and it was only 1 1/2 hours long. That is the first time I remember thinking I hated my mom. Then Vaughn was just there. He said he would take us on his motorcycle, but he had to take two trips because he only had one helmet.
  
• The others were the Daddy Daughter Dates. I always asked dad if he would come but he never did. It was bad enough that my own dad wouldn't come to them with me, but instead of just letting me stay home and wallow in self pity, Mom always set it up to tag along with some other father daughter pair. I hated being a charity case. I was so excited when Vaughn said he would come, even though he had to drive from out of town, where ever he was. One time we weren't sure if he would make it, it was when Trisha was supposed to come too and she was always happy to go even if it was as a tag along. Mom said I had to go with her. So we went and everyone else was there having a great time with their dads and I hated it, I hated them, resented them, and then I saw Vaughn walking across the park to us. That meant the world to me. Vaughn, for as long as I can remember, you have always been the person I looked up to more than anyone else. Thank you.

• James. I only have one memory of James as a child. It was when he broke his leg. I remember sitting next to him on the floor watching TV, he had a fork or something he was using to scratch under his cast. Then, right next to me, out of his cast came the biggest centipede I had ever seen! It was bigger then my hand! Obviously, I remember it being at least 8 inches long, because my hand span is about that big, but most likely it was only 4 or 5 inches long; I was only about 5 at the time.

• Alisha. Alisha was my surrogate mother. She was who I ran to when Aaron was chasing me. She would help me off the stairs when Aaron would drag me up them by my ankles and leave me stuck in the middle of them. Alisha taught me how to roller skate when I was five. I remember Alisha taking me with her to Idaho when she went up there with a friend. She had bought a case of Mystics (is that what they were called) and let me drink as many as I wanted. She came to girls camp the first time I went just to make sure I had a good time. Alisha is the one that encouraged me to start college early; we had the same classes my first semester. We use to stop by 7-11 and get Slurpee's every day before Fitness for Life.
  

• Aaron. I idolized Aaron, still do for that matter. I have always thought he was the coolest person I have ever met. I, like Angela, had crushes on his friends when we lived in Idaho and also hated that he made me sit by the one I liked during family prayer so I had to hold his hand. I remember the hours spent in time out on the couch with Aaron because we wouldn't give each other a hug. I was jealous that he could sneak books and magazines during that time without Mom finding out and I would get caught every time (probably because Aaron told on me). And I remember being horrible embarrassed when Aaron teased me that he would tell on me for calling him a Dick during sacrament meeting. I believe I lied and that point and it came out in a lame "I didn't say that I said dork," but you could tell by my voice it wasn't true

• Angela. She talks about all the times she use to hit me and stuff, but I really don't remember any of that. In fact, I don't remember really even being around her until I was in junior high. During teen years we only hung out if we didn't have anyone else to hang out with. Then we both worked at the same place and were both at UVSC and we started getting along a lot better. I hated it when she moved to Nebraska, that's when I stopped being home ever. I preferred to work and dive into school then be home without Angela as a buffer. It was great having her back, even though she was going through hell. I love her kids. I remember Jeff having to get all his teeth pulled when he was 2 or 3 because he fell and hit them on the entertainment center. We all grew up, and Angela moved away. I miss her a lot. I miss her kids.

• Trisha. I honestly don't have a memory with Trisha in it before we moved to Utah. I have memories around her, like going to Uncle Ron's for Halloween while she was in the hospital, but I don't remember her. After we moved, I didn't make friends. Pua was my only friend for the last 3 years of elementary school. I took to playing with Trisha. We would play school with me as the teacher. After that we just fought. I remember mom yelling at me because Trisha threw one of those metal skates that go over your shoes at me. Mom said I shouldn't provoke her. I remember Dad making me give Trisha my last carnival ticket that I had been saving to ride the Ferris wheel so she could ride it after she used all of her tickets up. He said I was older and should show more responsibility; I think I was 11.

I don't remember going on any trips with all my siblings, though I do recall many with Alisha and younger. Trips to Disneyland with me sitting on the emergency brake and Aaron laying on the floor in the back seat of our little Honda. The trip to Disneyland when Alisha was like 8 months pregnant and the looks the ride people gave her when she went on them when it said not to. The trip with Alisha and Alec when he was 3 or 4. I think that was the year Toon Town opened. Alec was so scared of the door that makes noises (the electric factory door?). I remember running a trail at the Grand Canyon with Aaron, and during the same trip Aaron commenting on how a biker had a nice butt and he should smack her in the butt, then when we passed, everyone seeing it was a guy. I think the trips are my favorite memories, that's one of the reasons Jared and I make sure to put the money away to go to Disneyland, even though that money saved would get us into a house. I appreciate all the hard work mom did to make sure that we were able to go on those.